Tuesday, 20 September 2016

Omens R Us - More Brexit

Neil Kinnock Walking on Water
 

The Working Class Can Kiss My Arse

For the UK 1983 was the ultimate omen year. That was when excitable "working class" Welsh poser and - like all modern socialists - multi-millionaire Neil Kinnock went for a walk on Brighton beach while waiting for the formality of  election  as Labour Party leader that afternoon. He strutted meaningfully by the Tides of Destiny for the TV cameras before falling into the water in a particularly humiliating manner, thus proving that you can be swollen with wind but still sink.  His political career ended not much later  but he  consoled himself by making a fortune as an EU commissioner (basic salary £200 000 +). What a perfect match.
 
The open window in Bratislava prompted memories among the more historically minded of  Prague 1618, the beginnings of yet another whizz eurodream that left ordinary little working Europeans, as  always, hungry, starving or dead. It was followed by more EU marine symbolism -  27 Euro-leaders were invited to brainstorm the future after Brexit  in a coarse luxury vessel taking them to an art museum and back. And not any old art museum either but an EU-symbolic one - Cunovo, Dutch founded and on the borders of Slovakia, Austria, and Hungary. So it was all there: Power! Purpose! Progress! -  Destination European Unity! And, most important, fressing*.   Naturally the River Danube had to be closed to the Little People - they can kiss our arses -  while the jaunt went on.   

You're Safe in their Hands
 
But you know the EU...  
 
There wasn't enough water in the Danube to float the  fatcats! The europlanners hadn't checked the tides and those Tides of Destiny had struck again, leaving the water too low to reach their destination. So, as the journalists reported, they "drifted aimlessly up and down the Danube" while, no doubt,  the rulers belched, wiped the beluga off their chins and exchanged info about the Bratislava escort girls. Meanwhile the Danube remained closed to Little People. The working class can kiss our arse while we can keep on feasting. Oh, sorry, and saved Europe by  discussing Brexit.  
 
Adrift
 
But not, it seems, and as the omens would suggest, with quite the brio one expected. Martin Schulz, (basic £227 000 + as much again in perks) of the risible "Europarliament" (career promise: three years here and you're a millionaire)   had already said that in the coming negotiations the EU should stick together or  "Britain would play us off against each other and that would be fatal for the EU".
 
Reuters wrote: "A mix of fear and admiration for Britain's ability to divide and confuse continentals into webs of shifting alliances appears to be as commonplace in 2016 as it was when French and Germans fumed over "perfidious Albion" two centuries ago."
 
"They have the best diplomats in the world," a senior EU official (basic £140 000 +)told Reuters. "If we don't stick together, they'll eat us alive."
 
Such confidence, eh?

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Essen, German verb -  to eat.
Fressen, German /Yiddish - to eat like a fat pig, to stuff your face